Moment

That moment when....

You tried to be strong ,

you are strong ,

you want to be strong.

and you kept on waiting, 

for the things you know you'll never obtain,

just like waiting for the rain,

in the Sahara,

at the peek of the summers.

That moment when....

you're impatient,

after months and months of waiting,

for the rain or even the gloomy clouds,

but none exist,

so you confront and stood up what's right for you,

for us.

but he push you away.

and he didn't turn back.

That moment when...

you want the rain so badly,

you thought you'll die without the rain,

but it'll never come. 

and the saddest is that,

you know, 

you know all along...

so you cried a river...

That moment when... 

you realized something,

you can't wait for the rain to pour down,

like you wanted,

but you can move on,

you can walk away,

ad never glance back,

like he did.

That moment when..

you sat alone,

next to the river,

writing a poem,

of your life,

your journey,

your love.

And the sky cried,

pouring down tears that washes your hurt away,

and you smiled,

as the first flash of rainbow rises,

the mark of a new beginning. 

PATIENCE

Assalamualaikum and hi.

I'm not the most patient kind of person. I easily got mad and might blow lots of bullshit from my mouth in which lots of them people don't want to hear . I'm like a ticking time bomb . 

Push the switch and I'm all out baby

But lately , I manage to control the demon eager to escape from my tiny body . I can control my anger , and of course my swearing. All thanks to him. 

This dear readers is Abu Muezza.

Yes , he's a cat . I met him last year , maybe October , I don't know . Time flies really really fast . He sat there infront of my house begging for food , purring, running into the house when anyone opened the door . Well , he's an attention seeker . And he got our attention . Finally. 

I was in boarding school , leaving Abu with my mom , dad, lil sister and my elder sister . They hated Abu at first but as time start to grow , and so does their love . My mom bought him some cat food and everything was fine . 

Well not until lately .

My dear readers , he's a stray cat . So , no one knows how old is him . I guess maybe around 8 or 9 years old . But the main point is He's dying. He don't want to eat or drink and made less purring sound . I was scared at first if he's going to die or not . My dad said he's dying but I refuse to believe him.

Until , one day , I was spoon feeding him that I notice something greyish in his eyes . As I look closer , I can't take it . Both of his greenish brown eyes are now clouded grey . His pupils were swelling and the corneas torn revealing a sight I can't bear . 

No one knows , what or who cause this torture to my Abu but he certainly is suffering . He eventually become a blind cat . He can't see his path and bumped into every furniture in my house . He didn't recognize his food and refuse to eat it . And it dawned on me that he IS DYING .

Did I tell you , I don't know his age ? What I know is that he's old . I mean very old . He only have 4 teeth . I mean a serious 4 ! He can't tell whether he's gonna poop or pee . The worst part of all , he don't know where his potty is ! 

And one day , I just can't take it . I can't bear his innocent looking face when he accidentally poop on the carpet . I kicked him out . That was my worst mistake of all . Allah shows to His worshipers that He can pay back what deed we do and what sin we create , 

I started to feel uneasy and unsafe . I fell while riding on my motorcycle . I dropped hot pan on my already swelling toe . Everyday , my facial cleanser "ACCIDENTALLY" cleans my eye balls . I searched for Abu for 4 days and finally find him back . He accept me with open paws . 

Now ? Yes , he's happy . Still blind and can't properly eat his food, poops and pees every corner in my house, but he still my Abu . He's thinner , yes . He's dying ? Let time see . But before his time come , I wanted to be with his every second , everyday . I will spoon feed him till he die . I will clean his but till he can't walk anymore . 

Cause he's mine . He's my ABU

   

Silence

Silence

No matter what I say , you sat there , watch me in silence. Glaring at me with so much hatred in your eyes but strong love in your heart . Your body lies to the world. How could they've been so blind ? Not seeing you still in love with me ? How could they let him run from his problem ? From our problem ?

Silence

Shot me with a gun . Stab me with a dagger . Punch me till my life flies . But never . Please never drown me in your silence . Don't push me away .  Let me redeem myself.

Silence

It's so loud inside my head . The silence stood still upon us , growing bigger and bigger till a deep gauge appeared between us . Is this how you wanted us to be ? Is this what you want after what we had together ?

Silence

Even our love can't break the loud sound of SILENCE . We can make this out . I know I can't take back the words that I couldn't say . I took your advice and did the opposite . I hadn't been the one you hope for , but if you hold on a little longer , we could make this out

Silence

So much to tell you , and most of all "I'm Sorry " . I'm drowning in my regrets . Your voice were the wind , so I talk to the shadows , hoping you might be listening cause I want you to know....

I CAN'T TAKE BACK THE WORDS I NEVER SAID

Hold on . We can make this out together . 

Hold on , we still have each other

Hold on , love can bind us together

Hold on , I still believe in us

HOLD ON